Demolition Days

Sometimes when I spend time thinking about the occasional somber memory of the past, I find myself wishing or simply wondering what it would be like if certain days just didn’t exist. I have a friend, who happens to be going through some rather troubling times. I’ll spare you all the bloody details, but I suppose I’ll tell you what’s necessary to know for the story. Something heart wrenching happened that could potentially make most people collapse. It was an event that blindsided my friend, bringing him to his knees, and as he struggled to stand and gasp for air, he found himself falling victim to gravity as he kept being pulled towards the floor. Shortly after this incident, as everybody else on the planet does, my friend had a birthday. Now this is what got me thinking about dropping an entire day and eliminating it from the calendar year all together. Yes, a day that’s supposed to be an enjoyable celebration is now a dreaded thing that would look better if it was plastered to the side of a space ship. 

I put myself in this friends shoes, and wondered how I might feel. How it would feel if my entire world was crumbling at my feet as I lost my grip on anything and everything. How it would feel if I completely lost control as if I was on an airplane that was about to crash. And then how I would feel when I realized that coming soon it would be my birthday. The feeling that everyone that has ever been acquainted with me, knows me, happens to be close to me, or maybe not, will be texting/calling/emailing me as if the spotlight didn’t already feel bright enough, now it’s pointed at me with an entire audience. 

This might be comforting to some people, but I think I personally would want to be hidden under a rock somewhere close to the warm cozy core of the earth. If I was in this horrible situation, unlike so many other years, I would certainly not be looking forward to my birthday. I would avoid any and all networking sites, leave my phone at home, call in sick to work, and drive towards the desert till it got dark before turning around to come back home. Perhaps it’s the idea that being faced to acknowledge the fact that so many people care enough about me to actually wish me well that would scare me. Thinking about all these caring people would make my heart swell up and my eyes fill with tears, but I would still probably end up bent and broken, alone and curled up in a ball in a small corner of my oversized bed. I suppose there are several things I could do to avoid this outcome, but I wouldn’t make any promises. I’m a perfect example of a hermit, a loner, a recluse, or whatever else you might call it. So chances are, I’d still be using the “drink hot chocolate and watch a Disney movie” method to raise my spirits. 

However if I could somehow control which days existed and which ones didn’t, and could choose based on particular events in any given month, and then un-eliminate them for the following year, things might actually be ok. I could skip that ever so dreaded birthday, wake up the day after, and take on a whole new set of life challenges. Possibly even better than the day before! I wont get ahead of myself though, ill work on the erasing days thing first. I’m not entirely sure how my friend actually felt on his birthday, seeing as how I haven’t been able to reach him since the incident, but I hope a little light shined in that day. Either way, my heart goes out to him, and everyone else involved. Here’s to say that if I could I would delete the day for you, if only it would make you smile. 

Much Love,

Alaska.