Demolition Days

Sometimes when I spend time thinking about the occasional somber memory of the past, I find myself wishing or simply wondering what it would be like if certain days just didn’t exist. I have a friend, who happens to be going through some rather troubling times. I’ll spare you all the bloody details, but I suppose I’ll tell you what’s necessary to know for the story. Something heart wrenching happened that could potentially make most people collapse. It was an event that blindsided my friend, bringing him to his knees, and as he struggled to stand and gasp for air, he found himself falling victim to gravity as he kept being pulled towards the floor. Shortly after this incident, as everybody else on the planet does, my friend had a birthday. Now this is what got me thinking about dropping an entire day and eliminating it from the calendar year all together. Yes, a day that’s supposed to be an enjoyable celebration is now a dreaded thing that would look better if it was plastered to the side of a space ship. 

I put myself in this friends shoes, and wondered how I might feel. How it would feel if my entire world was crumbling at my feet as I lost my grip on anything and everything. How it would feel if I completely lost control as if I was on an airplane that was about to crash. And then how I would feel when I realized that coming soon it would be my birthday. The feeling that everyone that has ever been acquainted with me, knows me, happens to be close to me, or maybe not, will be texting/calling/emailing me as if the spotlight didn’t already feel bright enough, now it’s pointed at me with an entire audience. 

This might be comforting to some people, but I think I personally would want to be hidden under a rock somewhere close to the warm cozy core of the earth. If I was in this horrible situation, unlike so many other years, I would certainly not be looking forward to my birthday. I would avoid any and all networking sites, leave my phone at home, call in sick to work, and drive towards the desert till it got dark before turning around to come back home. Perhaps it’s the idea that being faced to acknowledge the fact that so many people care enough about me to actually wish me well that would scare me. Thinking about all these caring people would make my heart swell up and my eyes fill with tears, but I would still probably end up bent and broken, alone and curled up in a ball in a small corner of my oversized bed. I suppose there are several things I could do to avoid this outcome, but I wouldn’t make any promises. I’m a perfect example of a hermit, a loner, a recluse, or whatever else you might call it. So chances are, I’d still be using the “drink hot chocolate and watch a Disney movie” method to raise my spirits. 

However if I could somehow control which days existed and which ones didn’t, and could choose based on particular events in any given month, and then un-eliminate them for the following year, things might actually be ok. I could skip that ever so dreaded birthday, wake up the day after, and take on a whole new set of life challenges. Possibly even better than the day before! I wont get ahead of myself though, ill work on the erasing days thing first. I’m not entirely sure how my friend actually felt on his birthday, seeing as how I haven’t been able to reach him since the incident, but I hope a little light shined in that day. Either way, my heart goes out to him, and everyone else involved. Here’s to say that if I could I would delete the day for you, if only it would make you smile. 

Much Love,

Alaska.

Why is it that I can never find what I'm looking for?

I seem to be lacking the proper resources for everything lately. For an update on etsy, I plan on having candles up soon, however I ran out of wax. So in the mean time, I'd like to talk about something else.

I once read something about how people say things that are obvious. One of them was to say "its always the last place you look" when you've lost something "Of course its the last place you look, why would you keep looking after you've found it?" I thought it was kind of amusing because now every time I can't find what I'm looking for I think about that article.

I'm bringing this up because every time I have some great idea, there is not a piece of paper or pen in sight. Just the other day I had something I so desperately wanted to write down, and of course I'm standing in a room with no pens, no paper, no computer, I didn't even have my cell phone on me. I had to resort to my old study habits and repeat the idea in my head over and over until I had it memorized. I think its funny how that works. I assume it makes some sense because I do a lot of my brain storming late at night when I cant sleep, generally while driving my car. However, in this particular instance, I was standing in the very center of my bedroom. Very rarely am I without at least a pen and paper. I dug through every desk drawer, dresser drawer, shuffled through my bookshelf, and checked around my laptop stand with no luck. The bigger issue here, is that it doesn't make any sense. What kind of desk doesn't have at least a pen in it? And what kind of laptop stand doesn't have a laptop on it? What I would really like to know, is why is it that things don't want to be found when you want to find them! I could have tore up the entire house and not been able to find a pen that day. That's the funny thing about life though, sometimes you just wont be able to find what you're looking for.

Palindromes

I know this entry is slightly random, but I think I’d like to start throwing in some offbeat posts just to keep things interesting. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about palindromes. Now in case you’re unaware of what a palindrome is, let me enlighten you. 

pal·in·drome

/ˈpælɪnˌdroʊm/ Show Spelled [pal-in-drohm]

–noun
1. a word, line, verse, number, sentence, etc., reading the same backward as forward.

definition from www.dictionary.com

Such as mom, dad, madam, etc…

What got me thinking about palindromes stems from a memory from back when I was probably 13 and using one of the older versions of aim. I’m not sure if aim still provides this service or not, but at one point you could choose a setting that posted some sort of saying every day. This included things like jokes, word of the day, acronyms, synonyms, and yes, even palindromes. I remember thinking it was one of the cooler options, and sorted through a list of palindromes on a regular bases. Some of them were simple like “don’t nod”, “dennis sinned”, “never odd or even”, and “Do geese see God?”. However, for whatever reason one particular palindrome stuck out and quickly became my favorite of all time, and to this day I still think about it from time to time. It goes a little something like this… 

“Cigar? Toss it in a can, it is so tragic”. 

I think it was my favorite because of its length, and I probably thought it was relatively witty. It remains my favorite because every time I think about it, I’m drawn back to a time that shaped the person I am today. I have no idea why certain memories pop into my head because things like this don’t seem to have any real relevance in my life, but I like the occasional reminder of my past. I don’t think it’s too much to ask of my brain to generate a good memory at random, so I’ll let it do its thing. I just hope that when other people reflect on who they were growing up, they can dig through some of the negative things (which seem to be easier to remember) and find some great memories that will be cherished forever.  

In case you are curious, you can find more palindromes here. 

Everybody has to start somewhere

Ok so this is the first time in my life I have ever written a blog. I know I know, a little behind on the times. However until now I have never really had a reason to write. My main intention is to use this blog to promote my items on etsy. At the moment, its a pretty sad collection, but I'm optimistic about its growth. In the mean time, bear with me and enjoy. :)


Check out my etsy here